Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
