we have pet lesbian snakes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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