Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
