you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
