Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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