DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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