just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
