After last night, I could never be a politician.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
