Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
