ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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