its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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