I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just puked most of my soul out..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize