i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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