I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
