I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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