the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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