there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
