listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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