We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
