Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
