I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
