Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
