I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
