Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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