The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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