Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
