If i come over, it means nothing
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
