Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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