i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
