I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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