someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
