my phone needs a breathalizer
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
