i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
