There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
