dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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