Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
