I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize