Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
