Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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