with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
