A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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