We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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