Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
