Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
