my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
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My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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