He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
