its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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