i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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