Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
