I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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