It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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