i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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