lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How naked do you want me to be?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
