so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
