tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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