what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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