Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
