Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
