I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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