Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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