that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
