Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
