nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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