Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Come on in and take your pants off
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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