She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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